My deepest sympathies also.. I also lost someone over 20 years ago. It deeply impacted me, and altered my path in life and business.. Almost 70, cancer is the main disease now, which has taken and continues attacking my loved ones and friends..
I was not lucky to have gotten to spend as much time, and shared experiences with someone, as you have.. And of course, just as each of us is physically differently, we are emotionally different.. Most of my Mom's side had a very pragmatic approach to death.. They seemed to have the ability, to turn off, or subdue the pain of sadness and anguish..
At first I thought it was my Mom's training as a nurse in WWII.. She'd seen a lot of death, and always genuinely seemed un-impacted by it. But then I noticed it was a trait all her brothers and sisters seemed to have.. In any event, it appeared to serve her well, as she continued to move on thru life, with little emotional turmoil.
I wish you the best. You have been a very valuable and treasured friend here. You have been an always present member, offering solutions, and valued knowledge. I feel, like many of us long-term members here, feel like we are good friends.